(And Embrace Your Dark & Twisty)
What I feel in my bones is this: I want to serve the greatest good, above all else. And part of the greatest good is making sure that I am the best vessel for channeling energy that I am capable of being when working with and treating my clients.
I have always played tug-of-war with the healers complex: the need to take care of everyone else first, before myself, and oftentimes at the expense of myself. This comes in part from an insanely deep desire to help people find their passion in life. But it also comes from a place of finding my happiness through seeing other people happy. And that, my friends, is what gets me into trouble.
So, what’s the purpose in me telling you this?
Since I made a pact with the Universe that I would commit myself fully to this work, so long as It made sure I was only adding real value to people’s lives, my life is unrecognizable. I get to spend the majority of my days helping people make astounding life changes and realize their immense personal power. On top of that, the amount of energy that propels me day-to-day is so beyond anything that my human mind can make sense of. Seriously, how could I ask for anything more?
Here’s the but, and I’ll be honest. Not too long ago, I started to fear my ability to juggle all these new changes and maintain the high degree of integrity that was nonnegotiable for me in my practice. In other words, insecurities started to poke their sticks at me. But, I kept pushing through. I didn’t want to let the fear get injected into any part of my work, so I buried it within myself, with intentions of never letting it out. The only lingering issue was a frustrating case of writer’s block, something I had never experienced before. I had heard that it was inevitable though, so I let it be.
A couple weeks ago, that propelling energy that normally guides me through the day started to wane, even though I was still seeing it work for my clients. So, because my clients are my priority, I ignored it. As long as my clients were still getting everything they needed, I wasn’t going to take time away from them to figure out why I didn’t’ feel the energy push within myself anymore.
Then I got sick. A touch of a stomach bug, nothing extravagant, but just enough to disrupt my daily flow. While I didn’t take any time to tend to my own energy needs, I did however judge my inability to handle new stresses. And onward I went.
The following week I got a brutal sinus and throat infection that knocked me flat on my gluteus maximus. I’m talking the whole nine yards: fever, body aches, and liquids for days since I couldn’t swallow normal food. I certainly wasn’t serving anyone’s highest good then. That got my attention. Big time.
As I tell most of my clients, when something has manifested physically, your first thought should be questioning where your energy is imbalanced, followed by examining why the imbalance occurred. After taking in the energetic equivalents of my aliments and my own self-reflections, it became abundantly clear that I wasn’t serving everyone’s highest good: my own had been utterly swiped aside.
Here’s what Louise Hay, author of “You Can Heal Your Life” has to say about the energetic ties to stomach and throat issues:
Stomach issues: Fear of the new. Inability to assimilate the new.
Throat issues: The inability to speak up for one’s self. Refusal to change.
See the connection? Que my fears and insecurities about my ability to juggle life and me burying them where no one can see them (myself included).
– My first red flag indicating that wasn’t a wise choice was when I felt my own energy begin to bunker down and not let universal energy flow through me. I ignored it.
– I was given a second red flag when I got a touch of a stomach virus (fear of the new). My response to which was to judge myself and move forward in the same way I had been.
– I was given my third, and final, red flag in the form of a nasty throat virus (refusal to change and stick up for myself, to myself); one that highly recommended I slow down and tend to my needs.
So, I had to get to work on giving my insecurities and fears their time in the spotlight. I had to feel what they were telling me about my weak spots, and love them anyway. I had to work to get to a place where I accepted their existence and appreciated the growth they facilitated for me.
And right on cue, my aliments left just as quickly as they set in.
You see, the Universe always has our back.
Let me reiterate.
The Universe ALWAYS has your back.
Which brings me to morals of this story:
As energy healers, we must recognize how important it is that we include our greatest good when we are tending to everyone else’s. It only clogs up our channel when we ignore our needs. And when we’re energetically backed up, we will not be able to be conduits of effective and total healing. Instead, recognizing and giving ourselves what we need makes us better healers and brings more integrity into our practice. You know, live what you preach and teach by example.
This next part extends to everyone and is the most important part. You ready? Are you sitting down? Here it is: Own your stuff. All of it. Even the dark and twisty. Feel it. And when you’ve fully experienced it, release it. Fall in love with the lessons you learned about yourself, and move on. There is freedom and liberation in giving yourself permission to experience your feelings and accept them without judging yourself. It’s the beauty in being human in this life: the incredible capacity to FEEL.
Gobs of love and blessings to you, and a little bit extra if you’re seeing your way through the dark and twisty.
And if you need a little extra guidance on what’s underneath your aliments, don’t forgot to sign up to get your free reading this month!
Let us support each other. I’d love to hear from you, and support you, if you’ve been through this (or are going through it right now). Drop a comment below!